Anyone feel guilt imprinting?
So, I guess this is one of those aspects of codependency that I have not worked on... why does my AW's disease make ME feel guilty? Well, among other things, it has tainted my enjoyment of socializing (where alcohol is involved) and even to the point of my personal enjoyment of a beer now and again. Please understand that I am not a high consumer of alcohol- far from it, and now very rarely, mostly due to my wife's situation. I have removed alcohol from the house and do not consume anything at home. At most, maybe meet some coworkers once a month for 1-2 beers most to talk shop.
I realize many of you on this site do not drink or have gone dry, and i applaud and respect your personal choices. But, I became fond of craft brewing a year ago (ironically sponsored by my wife, before the $*** hit the fan) and really enjoy sitting down to taste one of my creations while watching a ballgame- at this stage of my life I've matured to enjoying the taste and flavors, not drinking for a buzz. Can't do that anymore, and worse yet, if and when I even consume 1 beer or glass of wine, I feel so guilty, almost like I shouldn't be allowed to enjoy this when my spouse cannot. What the ***? Can I live without a periodic glass of beer or wine? Absolutely... Does this cause additional resentment? Absolutely... Guess i just wondered if anyone else out there has this frustration.
I know this is a bit of venting, so thanks for your understanding.