Connie11---don't forget that he has a sponsor (or should). Perhaps.....tell him to take it to his sponsor when he starts the verbal garbage.
Also, I don't think you have to "smile" all the time. You can just remain calm. I faced this while my adult son was still in the house---I learned to detach when he started his "QUACKING" ----I disciplined myself to remain calm---but, I secretly said "F*** You", inside my head. It helped me. (I would never say that out loud, of course).
dandylion