Hey! If you hang in there with reasonable boundaries, and he hangs in there, without using you for his verbal whipping post, odds are all the roller coaster emotions out of control will ease up and he finds his rudder controls again. I have been on the recovery side first, and then had to deal with boundaries as my AW was given the decision to shape up, or ship out. I now have firm boundaries and do not bear codie drama, emotional blackmail, or escalation games. I am taking care of me and she is taking responsibility for herself and her happiness. I am not her daddy, and she is not my daughter, not parents for each other or child roles against each other. We are here only as long as we want to be, not because we have to be. Sometimes it comes together, sometimes apart. Our marriages and life doesn't get better, we get better at life. Keep your head above water for you first.
It ain't easy, if it was, everybody'd be happy.