Originally Posted by
lillamy 
Destroying furniture and things is a hair's breadth away from becoming physically violent with another person.
Hey Faith. The above is what I learned the hard way only recently. My ex didn't destroy things completely, but I watched a steady progression of throwing stuff around, to inexplicable threats to hit me, and then it finally happened. I won't get into it all here, just know that you're understood.
I'm sorry you are hurting. I was also told to go back where I came from, 'f*** you', 'you're the worst', 'you're no fun', 'i never want to see you again', then told to come back, you're the love of my life. Didn't call it verbal abuse at the time. At least you are naming it right.
Sounds like both of our ex's don't want help right now. I am glad you got away.
I like your wording: 'time to get out of his way'. I don't know how to describe it, but my ex would say weird things after blackouts like 'things will get better', as if this problem is this external entity or a machine that is just steamrolling through, screwing up our good time.
Sorry you have to experience any of this. You are understood.