By the time I reached Al-Anon I was desperate to do something about my relationship with an alcoholic. I hoped that you would tell me to throw the bum out, so I was dismayed when a member suggested that I make no major changes for six months after coming to Al-Anon. By the end of the six months, my thinking had changed dramatically and I was grateful to have waited.
At that point, something inside told me to continue to wait, to learn, to recover, before deciding about this relationship. But I hate to wait. I struggled, prayed for guidance, weighed the pros and cons. The answer was always the same: "Wait. Do nothing yet. The time will come." That wasn't the answer I was looking for. So I ignored it. I forced a "solution" and walked out.
I was immediately consumed with guilt and self-doubt. Had I made the worst mistake of my life? I still loved this person so much, and though I was deeply troubled, I wasn't convinced that leaving was the answer. I had to admit that I had acted prematurely. Only with more time was I eventually able to come to a decision that I knew I could live with.
Today's Reminder
When my thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, I probably won't get the result I seek. As the saying goes, "When in doubt, don't."
"Guide me in all I do to remember that waiting is the answer to some of my prayers."
As We Understood…