Thread: Please help
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:23 PM
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justwanttohelp2
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 5
Please help

This may seem petty in camparison to what others are going through, but i am at a loss for words and don't know what to do or say or how to help. A little background...my mom is an alcoholic, although she has never admitted it, I've known for 10+ yrs. I'm in my mid 20's. She is a functioning/social alcoholic of that's any way to describe someone and has never hit rock bottom. Years ago I tried to talk to her about her excessive drinking and wanting her around for as long as possible etc and it went ok but not much changed. I soon realized she needs to want to change and until then I can do nothing but love her for the wonderful woman she is (and she is a great mom, no sugar coating here). Fast forward 4-5 yrs. I've been on my own now for a few yrs and it seems my moms drinking has gotten better, maybe because I don't live there to see it, but either way it's been easier on me. Today I felt like I got kicked in the stomach when my dad told me that my step-mom is an alcoholic and has been for many many years. I am pretty close to my step mom and had NO IDEA. She may have hit her rock bottom today and it has effected me more than I could have imagined. Maybe opened up some old wounds. Anyway I love her veey much and she is also a wonderful person, but I dont't know how to approach this with her. With my mom it was not easy, but I did it, got nowhere, but this is different. My SM has his rock bottom, because of this my dad told me whats been going on, and told her that I now know ( she didnt want anyone to know..including me) She feels embarassed, which is the last thing I want. I have not seen or spoken to her yet. Waiting for things to calm down and hopefully get plans into place. How do I offer my support? I dont even know if she wants it or if she recognizes the problem? She may just be going through the motions because she kind of has to? I want her to know I love her and although im very surprised it doesnt change a thing. She just needs some help and I want to be there for her if she wants me there. Is that ok to say? Im afraid she wont even want to discuss it. She is very strong on the outside...perfect some might say. How do I talk to her? I dont want to pretend nothing has happened, but I also dont want to put any more stress or pressure on her right now. Advice is more than welcome. Thank you all in advance.
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