Oddly content.
It was a week last night since I last saw or spoke with my BF of almost 2.5 yrs. After having told him that I will never be ok with him drinking every night and telling him how much I love him, I got out of his truck and he drove away. He said nothing other than "I love you, too" and "Good night".
I was/am sad. But more than that, I am ok. I feel content. Free. And it feels strange. I think I should be feeling more, but I don't. And I don't know why. I love this man dearly. He is so very good to me in so many ways. I would love nothing more than to share my life with him. But he drinks. And I feel stronger about not having that in my life than I do about having him in it.
I almost feel bothered by the fact that I haven't cried at all other than while I was talking to him that night. That this past week I've smiled and joked and gone out with friends, slept soundly, gotten work done and have just felt.. free.
I'm sure it will hit me at some point, but for now, I am ok.