I made it through first month with many ups and downs, but still able to handle myself.
What happened?...I know what it is, but never felt this before. It is sunny today in California, but looks like cloud is following me everywhere. I live on 17 acre farm. So I am walking around with hoodie pulled over my head, as I watch the burn pile. That is getting some agression out, but i am afraid I might kick the burn pile sand hurt myself. I tried to get on SR in middle of night, but instead almost threw computer in Jacuzzi. DUH..
I am hollow inside and feel nothing. Rushes of anger and anxiety come and go, then back to feeling like a hollow shell.
WOW that was lot of work to type this. I have no energy.gotta feed the goats, my horse and chickens. Im gonna lose it....
goats "maah" "maah"...and my guinea hen sounds like a hen on drugs. My ears are gonna explode.
It goes from this 
to this 
then to this