I too am in a very similar situation. Currently, my AH of 18 years, is living in an apartment after I had to file a restraining order due to violence. At first, I actually felt guilty for that!
Initially, he was a high functioning A with a 6 figure income as well. Has been in and out of 4 different rehabs and 6 detox facilities. And I supported him through all of this and so did his employment. Recently he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and things seemed to get worse. He relapsed, became abusive (physically) and eventually lost his job.
As if my children an I are not going through enough, his family has begun to blame me! Just when I started to feel good and strong about my decision, they make me feel terrible. They feel as though I should have received some kind of counseling before I threw him in jail. Really? This doesn't even make sense to me.
This is a terrible disease which affects so many. The only way I have found to help "clear my thoughts" is to look into the eyes of our children. They feel and act so much happier when he is not around. They can be loud, have friends over, and just be themselves.
Your post has really helped me realize that so many of us are going through the exact same thing. English Garden has made a comment on my post to not feel guilty for something I did not do. This really helps. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs!