Lofe is a Drug: Our Brains on Break-up....Tips
So many posters lurk on this site as they contemplate physically separating from their A and one day they post and ask for advice from those of us who crossed that bridge in the past.
Everybody is different but understanding why I felt physically sick, stomach in knots, depressed to the point of feeling I couldn't get my next breath helped me cope. What I learned was that my brain dumping cortisol and other pain causing chemicals to induce me to get back me back on the alcoholic crazy train! My brain was a traitor!
When we contemplate or actually separate from our A (or any breakup) our primitive hardwiring goes into overdrive using the neural pathways of pain and chemical dumping to preserve the social bonds needed to pass on our genes. It has NOTHING to do with love! Nothing to do with it being the best choice for us personally. It has nothing to do with his character or promises and absolutely has nothing to do with logic!
It is our brain on remote control from thousands and thousands of years of keeping mates together to preserve the species.
Is that the voice we want to listen to? The stupid side of our brain? Really?
The good news is that unlike drug or alcohol addiction the pain of heartbreak does mend and fade with time and there are tricks and tips to help shorten this period of intense emotional distress.
So if you have personally experienced your primitive brain trying to hijack your will and logic side of your brain in the past and you have a story to share about how it was then and how it is now and the in between please do tell...
If you have a tip or trick and there are many to help in the time of healing please share...
If you had no idea that the brain was the culprit and it wasn't "love" then hit your google and key in search words like breakup, brain, chemicals etc... and share what you learn...
Retrain your brain: It is easier than retraining the A (impossible) and is something we actually can control!