There is a sticky thread at the top of this forum that really helped me when I first arrived at SR....maybe it will help you, too. Here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I understand your concern if you think your wife is drinking alcoholically. Unfortunately, just as it was with you, the decision to live life differently is entirely up to her. One of the harshest realities when dealing with a loved one who drinks is that there is so very little influence we can have.
Perhaps reassure her that there is not judgment of her on your part. Ultimately, though, the decision to not drink lies with her.