Based on what you shared, not only does it sound like you need to get out, it would be in your best interest to do so.....
Do you really need to be involved with a guy who spends his free time drinking and p---ing all over the kitchen floor, when he has a child to support?
Do you really need to get yourself entangled with his baby's momma?
He then went into this big long-winded story about how his (soon to be ex) wife wanted my BF to bring her his child support money out today, but he said he couldn't because WE (he and I) wanted some 'alone time'.
Of course, he roped you into his long-winded excuse....this deflects the responsibility away from him....
And, right you are, my friend...NONE of this is your problem....
May I gently ask, why you would be willing to date someone who is technically not available?
The fact that he's still (legally) married and an active alcoholic should be enough for you to lace up your Nikkie's and RUN!
I keep asking myself HOW did I get myself in this? I'm really not this type of person! I grew up in a small town in the Midwest with 2 older sisters and Middle class parents who separated 2 weeks after I graduated from high school. (u think they were staying together for the kids?)
I understand this completely....I also grew up in a similar situation and perhaps you got yourself into this because you witnessed two people staying together for the wrong reasons. This type of situation has been damaging for me because, in the past, I too, held onto relationships that I would have been much better off ending sooner....
My parents weren't drunks and I never really knew what an alcoholic was until I met my BF. His parents were both drunks. He used to cry about it. Now he's worse than I remember them being.
Just because your parents weren't drunks as far as you know, clearly there were some major problems in their marriage based on what you shared....
I'm sorry this is so long. I'll admit that I've had 3 large glasses of wine with my sister, and I'm small and rarely drink and I know this forum is against drinking but I kinda think it helped me think about things.
No need to apologize....this forum is here for all of us to let it out...So type all you want! Speaking only for myself, I'm not necessarily against drinking, providing it's being done responsibly....
Just be mindful of why you're choosing to drink.....
I would be careful not to make the association that drinking "helped you to think about things" That's how dependence to alcohol can start...
I'm not suggesting this is true for you, but just something for you to consider as you work through this difficult time in your life....
This makes me so sad.
Of course, and as much as I hate to say it....Alcoholism rarely produces happy outcomes if it continues to go untreated....
I want to have kids someday. I just turned 29 this month, and both my sisters had their first kid @ 30, and when I was younger i actually thought that was old.
This is a very special goal....and you deserve to achieve this with a healthier partner....
(Yes, I needed to hear that one too!)
I don't want that to be me, but I'm such a wimp. I have a self-esteem problem and I need help.
And, you are NOT a wimp....Wimps deny their problems....
You, on the other hand, are attempting to examine things closer...
This makes you brave and courageous in my mind!
Keep coming back....We're here to help!
All the best,
Linda