Thanks everyone.
I'm going to my Dad's tomorrow with my sister and I'm going to ask for help. She might even tell him for me, which is probably a good thing. If she weren't here, I'd probably chicken out. I'm still pretty nervous though. Once I tell him, I can't un-tell him. It's so hard and sad for me because I love my BF. We've been through so much together and when he's not drunk, he's great.
Last night I went to dinner with my sister and a few of her girlfriends. I couldn't get ahold of my BF and panicked. I told his daughter's mom (who I informed the night before that I wouldn't be home to supervise the situation - and she let him take her anyway) She wanted me to call a neighbor. I don't really know my neighbors and so I talked to the step-dad (her soon to be ex) He ended up driving out there, and everything turned out to be fine. They went sledding, and his phone had died.
When I got to the restaurant, I had to immediately excuse myself because my BF's daughter's mom called to ask if I was home and blah blah blah her daughter can't get ahold of my BF. (I was the one who informed her that he wasn't answering)
Then HE called. I thought he was going to yell at me, but he didn't. He understood why I did what I did. It wouldn't have been the first time he's been alone with his daughter and drunk. He said he went to a meeting yesterday morning, and it was like everything was fine.
He and his daughter came over to my mom's for a while today. Both my sisters were here with their kids, and they all got to play outside. He was sober, and he was nice but I just feel like it's too little, too late. I have to remind myself that Thursday is right around the corner, I'll be at work all day and probably come home to the usual BS.
His daughter really bonded with my sister's 2 year old this time. We got the cutest picture of them playing with eachother's hair. It's kind of heartbreaking. I sent it to my BFF and her response was something along the lines of: 'That's so cute, and that's what he's messing up.'
It's true. Things could be so good, and yet somehow they're so bad. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't think I can afford my own place, and I will absolutely not move back in with my mother. My dad just got married a year ago and finally got my step-brother out of the house. I don't want to be a burden on them. We'll see.
I just keep telling myself that this is the right thing to do. I've tried doing it my own way for so long and it's not working. I'm mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I'm finally ready to admit that I have absolutely no control of this situation. Wish me luck!