I recently had a run in with a cocaine addict and im so confused. I feel like ive been really really manipulated. We no longer speak, I feel I know I have stuff to work on because my days feel gloomy now, like I miss him and his confusing behavior...and i hate that i actually miss this. How can I become one of these women who just sees this guy as a sinking ship
but i cant stop dwelling and trying to understand. understand how he felt? what he wanted? This person came on strong, but was hot cold. He was more bold and sexual than most guys. Im naive but I knid of liked it I guess so i started to have feelings for him. It took a while but I started putting things together and realizing his cocaine habit might be bad...like really bad. BAD BAD.
first i thought it was a hell of a cold, and he was moody. then i saw him do it and thought it was just because we were drinking. then i noticed aLOT of tissues in every trash can. Then the fact that he flaked on some plans. I went from thinking he was fickle about how he felt to being really scared and started pulling away from him. he sucked me back in, saying he had some issues but wanted us to be friends. He told me he had strong feelings for me.
Since I have no idea how to be supportive or what to say to a person in his shoes that would benefit him I didnt like how on edge I felt. I felt in over my head and just decided to tell him he needs to get rid of his habit, that hes got two personalities that i cant figure out which one he is. That its bringing me down
He seems as though he genuiinly wants to be nice, but his frustration flares. He seems like hes got lots of walls, but hes also smart and i wonder if he knew this would hook me. He forgets things I tell him about myself and only seems to remember things that have to do with sex. He is sex obsessed, and talks about porn a lot, wants to text dirty or else seems bored. Anyways he ends up saying he cant handle me anymore (super insulting because I was trying to understand without being too invasive). Says Im not his type . Tells me Im too short for his taste. Tells me I annoy him when I talk, that he isnt listening. That he lost interest after sex.
This stuff is so degrading and mean and Im having a hard time with wanting to believe he means this stuff. Do some cocaine addicts think they have feelings when they are high, or only care about you sexually and pretend the rest?
Do some addicts have so little control over emotions that they genuinly like you one day and not the next?
Do some addicts try to be mean as possible to keep you from getting sucked into their problems?
Or is this guy really this mean??? He went from telling me I was adorable, beautiful, talented and me feeling he was smart and intriguing and kind....to treating me like trash, putting me down and ignoring me. WTF could I have done differently. Why wouldnt he just tell me from the beginning what I was dealing with so I could research and decide for myself rather then wait till im attached and thoroughly insult me??? accuse me of being crazy
and WHY THE BLEEP DO I CARE? any thoughts would be appreciated. I really wanted to be nice to this person. wanted to like him, having trouble seperating reality from illusion.