Totally you need to take care of you. My XABF used me and walk out on me without notice and is now with someone else. I was and still am crushed but I also know it is the best thing that could have happened. He didn't love me he doesn't even love himself. Have you tried al-anon? I know it is scary to walk into your first meeting but I am telling you it helps. Take care of yourself that is all you can do. You didn't cause it you can't cure it or control it. Good luck and keep reading