With my STBXAH, especially during the early time when I had the baby and was missing him and wishing I had a partner, I really had to detach from all his promises. He knew exactly what to say to pull on my heartstrings -- and I'm sure he meant at least some of it. Whether he was manipulating me or just speaking from a place of hope, he was not able to deliver on those promises. What made the difference for me was untangling my well-being from his, including financial, and measuring his words against his actions. Whenever I started to get wistful about us reconciling, some new fact would smack me in the face. He would be Mr. Affable and then when we reached deeper subjects, if I disagreed with him on some point he'd turn around and snap at me like a caged animal. I'd think, nope! No changes there. Can't live like that.
I always try to see things in short bouts as, "I can do anything for five hours, or one day out of 30 or whatever." This helps me see that while it seems to take forever at that moment, it is really just a short amount of time. Negative family I try to see as the same as my work. I work with customer service. There will be those I really like, and those that stink and I cannot stand. I still have to deal with them and not let them get to me, that is the right thing to do. Maybe you can see your mom as your customer that you have to deal with, not take personal, and move on from!
Ditto! It's okay to experience temporary discomfort to reach a long term goal.