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Old 01-19-2014, 09:45 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Stung
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
PatientlyWaiting, thank you for your thoughts. They were both insightful and from a very different perspective. I do not care about my husband's efforts to this point because it's all words, no real actions - which is what his physical appearance testifies to. He could have been drunk last week and I wouldn't know, further, I don't need to know because he doesn't live here. Being sober is only a fraction of his battle. Discovering, understanding, accepting and healing the reason(s) for his addictions to have begun in the first place is what is important. He is slowly starting to discover what has been going on in his life and I am doing likewise and we're both very surprised at how similar we are.

Please also keep in mind, that I only come here for support - being that this is a support forum. The times when I need support and seek this place out are when things are difficult or confusing for me, i.e.: seeing my sick husband after weeks of being apart. If I came here to post when I was having a good day your judgements of me would probably be different. I don't come here when I'm happy or things are going well, as I don't need support at those times. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and I appreciate the support from people who are further along on this path than I am or those who can relate, and to those people on this forum I am exceeding thankful and grateful. I do not come here for someone to tell me that I'm shallow or that I should get a divorce because I was shocked at my husband's physical appearance after time apart. I can call my NPD mom if I want someone to tell me I'm mean or unsupportive or a bad wife. I don't need anyone here to do that, I already have that in spades in my life.

If you do not like my threads (I don't blame you, I'm not in a good place in my life at the moment, which is why I am on this forum to begin with) then I encourage you to either ignore me or pass over my threads. I'm not here to bring others down, I'm here looking for guidance and goodwill - which is generally generously offered to me here with very few exceptions.
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