Today you gave me a gift; the gift of helping me stay sober today.
I don't want to quit that many times over. I want to live sober and avoid that darkness.
I've quit (actually made an earnest effort to quit and had some months of sobriety) and I've gone back - a few times. I want those days behind me and a happy life of sobriety ahead.
Stories like yours remind me; it doesn't get better, only worse.
I wish you well in your choice of the sober path and from what you describe, I hope you'll work with a Doctor and counselor and consider including AA in your recovery.
You can do it!
