Why not just accept that you don't trust him?
No more emotional internal discussion, dissection, back and forth, guilt because he's trying, blame because he doesn't succeed, self-doubt because maybe if you were better, more fully alanon-ized you could and would trust him....
What is is what is. You don't trust him. Period.
Let it go.
Live your OWN life.
Check back in on your feelings in a month, or 3 months.
It might really be a good idea to just find a place, any old place and separate. Board your dog with a friend.
Get into your OWN space, your OWN life.
The real issue for us all is "Who are WE? Who do WE want to be? What brings us JOY?"
ShootingStar1