From Courage To Change: The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe another's slate clean or a gravel that I pound to pronounce someone "not guilty", I think of forgiveness as a scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt. By releasing resentment, I set myself free.
That paragraph has always stayed with me and I often picture those scissors snd cutting that string that binds me.
I was able to do that in the past with my ex for many resentments I held onto regarding his using behavior. Unfortunately his past history, which kept repeating itself only caused those resentments to become recycled and I no longer wished to continue the relationship. I really had no business being with someone who I had to totally detach from and constantly work on new and recycled resentments.
I needed to get off that sinking ship in order to save myself. Do I have resentments today, sure but they really do not involve him at all as much as they do with me and my past and are very manageable.