Quitforme - I relate a lot to your post. Not that I miss being numb. I really don't miss that. All it did was create pain and misery. But I've realized that after I got a good amount of sober time under my belt, I've kind of just gotten used to living life without drinking; I don't have to think about it. Not that this a bad thing. I am eternally grateful that my obsession to drink has been lifted. I know that alcohol cannot solve or improve a single situation in my life.
But it's like, now what? I also threw myself into AA when I first stopped drinking. Lots of meetings. Very active in my home group. I've made some amazing friends. But I kind of feel like now is the time to start moving ahead with my life as a sober man. Don't get me wrong. I'm not abandoning AA. Personally, I need it. But I feel like I have this new opportunity; this second chance to build a normal life again.
I'm 31. I got dumped by my ex when I was in the hospital detoxing. That was over nine months ago. And yeah, I've been feeling a bit lonely lately. That "void" is still there.
I honestly wish I could give you some amazing advice, but I'm just trying to make my way through this phase of my sobriety like you are. But let's be real here, it's still 1000x better than it was when I was in the prison of alcoholism. I have to keep reminding myself that I am extremely lucky and blessed. That looking from the outside in, my life is good. That I have faith in my HP that people and situations will be put in front of me when I'm ready to handle them. That the quick fix of a relationship may just be my need to seek validation through others instead of loving myself first.
So right now, I'm working on balance. I'm exploring getting back into dating again, but this time, with the tools I've learned from the program. I'm getting back into writing music again. I am reconnecting with my family. It will all work itself out as long as 1) I don't drink; and 2) I have patience.
Best of luck to you. Keep us updated.