Usually, the manipulative crazies become so transparent when we use our healthy retorts. I disinvited my NPD father and my borderline, NPD, alcoholic mother to an event at my daughter's elementary school right before Christmas because my mother was wasted that morning and I did not want to worry all day about what shape she would be in at the school.
So, they called my cell phone 16 times and my home phone about the same number of times. At one point I picked up the phone with my father and said, "Dad, you are not respecting my boundaries."
His retort? "Well, those aren't my boundaries."
Wow. Thanks for making your craziness completely transparent, Dad.