I think I avoid them because part of me just doesn't want to quit. I still think at times that I can moderate. This is not rational thinking. I'm still trying to control. Sometimes I drink because I think it's the only thing that I enjoy and I don't have faith in my future. I get depressed a little. I think once I am sober I won't enjoy life. I know this isn't the case. I see evidence for the contrary.
I'm getting close to getting a sponsor and doing the steps. I'm really interested in seeing how I am doing after 90 days or one year sober.