Hello turingTape
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us, but sorry you are struggling!
There are many people here that will understand your story and have been right where you are.
First of all I think it would be a GREAT idea for you to attend some Al-Anon meetings for YOUR well being and knowledge.
Whether you tell her or not is up to you, but as Hammer said, those meetings are all for YOU!
Nothing that you do or say will change her decisions around her own drinking. She will continue or she will not, but it'll be on her timeline...
You on the other hand must deal with how it affects YOU!
To put it in perspective for you, A normal bottle of wine holds approximately 5 standard glasses of wine at 5oz each. That means she is consuming approximately 10 drinks on nights she consumes 2 bottles of wine. A 5 oz glass of wine is equivalent to 1 12 oz beer or a 1.5 oz shot of hard liquor....
So, 10 drinks is A LOT!!!
Call it dependent, or alcoholic, doesn't really matter too much though... How it is affecting her and how it is affecting you does matter!
I would definitely get to a meeting and learn all you can...
First and foremost you will likely learn that
A) you didn't Cause it
B) you can't Control it
C) you can't Cure it
Many more will come along with more support, experience and support!!
Hang in there and keep reading through the boards here and posting. There are some great threads under the tab marked "Stickies" that are very informative!!
Again, welcome and glad you have joined us!!!