I go back to my theory. Not all drinkers are narcissistic asses, just lots of narcissistic asses love to drink. It is a personality that is prone to addiction in my opinion.
That being said, for me, the narcissistic man that I married was there before the alcohol, I just had on the blinders and did not realize it. I do believe alcoholism is a disease. I do not believe it is an EXCUSE to treat people badly, say crap things and expect your spouse and people around you to excuse it, or any of those other crappy things. My AH was taught right from wrong. He still knows right from wrong. He still chooses wrong...alot. I don't just mean by choosing alcohol. I mean being a pessemist, by saying crappy things, talking negative about people, the list goes on and on. We are not compatable any longer.
Thanks for letting me ramble on in my thoughts on this.