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Old 12-29-2013, 08:49 PM
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jot
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12
A little lost...

My AGF - who got an addiction therapist over the summer (I sought her out after some episodes), and has become heavily involved in AA, especially since November moved out recently. She recently quit some medication, and is trying to ween herself off suboxone, and hasn't drank.

We got in an argument about 10 days before xmas (long story), resulting in her leaving. The peak of it was the next day when I tried to talk to her about things, she said she was going to a meeting and "not talking about it" with me, I got frustrated, grabbed her purse and phone (off the floor), and starting to take a sim card out (I felt like she was hiding stuff). She felt threatened by my act of power. I gave it back to her like 30 seconds later and felt really bad about the whole ordeal... She left and didn't come back, but knew she was working through it with her therapist, parents, and AA group. Four days later I found out she had scheduled movers for Christmas Eve (guess her parents got her an apartment); she is nearby, but don't know where.


On Christmas eve, I got two messages - one from her therapist, saying that we could have a session together on Jan 7th for "clarification" (a request I had made a couple days after she left and didn't know what was going on or if she was coming back). The other was a text from my AGF, she just said she had moved everything out, and asked for "no contact" until the session with her therapist, and said that "[the therapist] asked her to write that" as she did with much of the communication that we had had (which was minimal - I told her I loved her and wanted to resolve things, but she wouldn't respond to any of that).


I just emailed her therapist today, and said that I would attend on Jan 7, and that I would be doing so because I hope to work things out. I do love her very much.

Then I came back home from my hometown after the holiday. And all of her stuff is gone, no couch, other furniture of hers gone... Since all of this happened, I've had no word of her intentions, no "I love you", no "we can't be together", nothing but she moved out and no contact... And I'm lost.

I just feel like if I need to get over her, then it would be best to stay no contact, and not meet with her... If I do go to the session, and things remain the same, I just feel like I'm torturing myself.

Anyway, I'm planning on getting to my first AlAnon meeting this week. Partly because we moved to a new city together, and while she grew a social network in AA, I let myself become isolated with only her and my job -- I have a couple of friends around here, but they're big social drinkers and not sure I want to be so much in that scene right now.
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