Hi Gracey,
Unfortunately, my MIL does the same kinds of things. Not so much now because she has 2 addict children living with her (one is my H). She is still into fixing things, manipulating things to make it all "okay". There were so many times in the past that I wanted to blast her with ugly words, but I realize it wouldn't do any good. I just put up my boundaries, try to stay calm, polite and considerate when possible and stick to my guns. It is very hard sometimes, but my MIL has been like this for years and I don't expect her to get any better any time soon. I know she loves my children and doesn't have the tools (or use the tools) necessary to stop enabling and stop controlling. They have basically lost their dad to this disease pretty much and I don't want them to lose a grandma too. But again, I stick to my boundaries and have done this for quite some time and lo and behold she has actually started to respect some of them. When she crosses over I let her know. There are periods when she rebels, but I stay put because I know I'm doing the right thing. You know what's funny? When my AH has had periods of sobriety his mom was the last person he wanted to be around. But when he's using he's literally up her butt!
She's sick, too, I try to have compassion....it's definitely hard sometimes and I can only take her in small doses. I pray for her too, that helps.
ami