Hi Snood;
Happy Christmas Eve
I've been reading your posts.
You sound very unhappy and somewhat obsessed with your wife's drinking habits and
unkind and insensitive behaviour.
I think you deserve much better than this, and I hope your New Year's Plans
include working on your codependence and perhaps seperation / divorce if she
doesn't want to seek treatment.
We only hear your side of things, but she really is taking advantage and giving
you the classic "doormat of the alcoholic" treatment. I got this for many years
from my mother, and as long as I kept coming back, I (and it) got and worse each year.
When I finally said no and stepped away, I began to get my self, and self-respect back.
I'm sorry, but forget the money and run. See a lawyer, and if it's your house, have her removed or sell it if you have to. Move into the holiday flat if she's really stubborn.
Do something and seize your life. . . you sound so happy when you are doing your hobbies.
Maybe if unwilling to do any of the above, ignore her and her demands and just do your thing. Static isn't working.