I am so sorry. My AH's step father passed away last Nov and his mother on Dec 20th. While we did still have Xmas (we made sure it was all done by Dec 24th) it was very difficult but it provided a much needed time to just be around other people and stay busy. My AH was pretty much zoned out the whole time although he did not sleep, he did get up and attend everything.
Although my AH does not have a dealer, he did drink the whole time and he was on Rx meds the whole time. He stayed pretty quiet and I just wanted to keep him calm so I did not really say anything. Luckily his sister is great and they are close she she really helped so much. I too am the one who helped plan stuff with her, I dont think he was mentally capable of it.
I am so sorry for your loss. Life does have to carry on, but it is hard. I encourage you to find some time for you and your kids to try and have some enjoyment, even if he chooses to stay on the couch.
Gentle Hugs.