Originally Posted by
Tabbj 
When I try to do something for myself it makes me feel more guilty, and I get looked at by my husband like I am lazy for lying on the couch or he thinks I am being selfish
Tab - try to let go of the guilt. Not only is it counterproductive to finding solutions, it will turn you back to alcohol.
Look at it this way, you need to give yourself some mental and emotional space in your head so you can think clearly about things. And does your husband tell you you are lazy or being selfish? (I hope not.) Or is that what you think he is thinking/saying?
When your son is older, perhaps you can get a part time job? Make something to sell? I know a woman who made $$$ selling homemade things at craft fairs. I know another woman who frequented those crazy flea markets and resold everything she found on EBay. It kept her busy, and sometimes she SCORED big money.
BE postitive! There are things you can do.
Smiles.