MaeLee

Hello all. Ok so, to make a long story short, I have failed once again with battling my co-dependent issues. In trying to leave my addict bf alone, I sought the advice of another addict, (my mother). The only thing is, she is unaware that I know she still uses. Anywho, she has been helping me by listening and was cheering me on I thought. Up until recently when I failed. I failed without noticing. This isn't an excuse, but I am going through a lot with both of my children. I have to go to court concerning my oldest, and have to go back and forth to the hospital concerning my youngest. I guess, In my codependent mind, keeping my ex at bay was too strenuous. I spent most of my time, worrying about his issues and losing sight of my children's issues. It took a lot out of me. Anyway, my ex and I gradually started being friend's again and I am just tired of being strong. I may be codependantly delusional, but It feels less stressful. He isn't fully back in my life, but we talk more and I allow more visits with his son. Well, I planned to tell my mom to vent and get support for failing. but instead, I got an abrupt call from her upset at me and being really disrespectful. I am living under her sec 8 housing, but she doesnt live here. and she basically kicked me out because I stopped ignoring my ex. I know she loves me, but I feel hurt by her reaction. mind you, she's an addict. and I am certain she called me high. anyway, I forgave her and tried to make a mends and talk to her like an adult. She refuses and accused me of using her. smh. i feel like im in the twilight zone. idk what to do. she wont talk to me. she wont tell me why she's mad. her behavior is stressing me out. my children and I have nowhere to go. she knows everything iam going through with my kids.. why is she doing this to me?