Tf..I am sorry to hear you so down. Gentle Hugs for you my friend. I believe both of your daughters are using you. Your daughter that was hurt is using her situation to manipulate you. You other is using your state of emoation to rob you emoationally and apparently both of them monetarily.
You know that Xmas tree you are putting up? How about putting the receipt from the shoes she STOLE your c/card for and wrap it up under the tree?! See this for what it is...stealing from you. TF...it is never too late my friend. Breathe...take it a day at a time. They have shown they are untrustworthy so protect your assets from them.
I am sorry TF and Jend that you are going through this. I cannot even imagine, my heart just hurts for both of you. You and your families are in my prayers.