Originally Posted by
lizatola 
Thanks ladies for making me feel better. I think my anxiety goes back to high school when my sister was battling leukemia. For health class I did a report on blood cancers and lymphatic system cancers, mainly because the brochures were in her doc's office and I was sitting there bored. After reading those handouts I got paranoid that I, too, had cancer. I never shared my fears with my parents, they had enough on their plate but I would sit around and check my body for lumps, bone pain, whatever was in that brochure basically. I remember feeling my armpit area and feeling my lymph glands, I cried myself to sleep for days on end in my junior year. It was awful and sometimes I fall back into these patterns and I remember those fears.
Liz, it makes absolute sense that this would trigger a panic reaction in you given your history. I had also forgotten about your sister. ((((HUGS))))
I have been triggering in a similar way because my 40th is this weekend & that was the year that my then-RAF hit his 5-yr sober mark just before turning 40, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer & died before his next birthday. I feel like I'll be holding my breath until I turn 41. Utterly irrational, I know.
Maybe the hidden silver lining in this for you is to be able to work through this trigger in part of your therapy.... so that when it turns out to be nothing more than a "disgusting ingrown hair" (Thank you Florence, I am still laughing) you will have had growth in an area of your healing that may not happen any other way.
Yep, I'm all "glass 3/4 full & filling" today!
