Originally Posted by Cptnzulu

I would say the man needs to move out not you, to me you have been more of a servant from what I read. Walk the dog, clean the kitchen, and all the other things you mentioned. My point is he does not respect you and perhaps at some point in your relationship things were different but right now it's pretty obvious he not only hates himself but he has no respect for you or your son. Should you be the one to leave what happens to you boy?
I have seen this picture before and until the man learns to respect you and himself there is no chance of any type of meaningful relationship. You're not a door mat nor are you his mommy or servant. Sometimes after years of abuse we lose sight of ourselves as well, you deserve better so does your son. I don't know how old your boy is but don't think for one minute that this is not severely effecting your sons behavior. At some point your son may even start picking up his fathers bad examples and then two lives are being ruined.
I'd would say since he's being Mr. Kissy Kissy right now, that maybe it would be a good time to introduce him to AA and have him read the "Letter From An Alcoholic", I'd recommend you read it as well, but recovery starts with him making real efforts, not just kissing your back side. From what little you have shared I'd say he's hurt you really bad and I'm guessing part of you really wants to love the man he once was but you can't enable him any longer. If I was in your position I'd stay in touch with your Pastor and if you don't belong to Alanon I'd HIGHLY recommend you find a meeting close to you and start attending as often as you can for the first 30 days. I'd also recommend you get a sponsor as quickly as possible because your sponsor can help you through the rough times ahead.
I've seen many relationships repaired by using the tools provided in AA and Alanon, and weather you like the man or not, you need to think of your son and the impact divorce will have on him. Once you start working the steps I'm pretty sure everyone will agree with me that you will be able to handle crisis situations with clarity.
The serenity Prayer is a valuable tool I have used for the past nine years I have been in program and I can't tell you how many times it has changed the course of my actions and given me the strength to make smart choices.
In case you've not read it before:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I wish you all the luck in saving your family, you have a lot of work to do but you're in the right place by starting here and working with your Pastor. Alanon has saved my life! it has saved my marriage and I am a genuinely happy man today.