Devastated,
My son is ok right now I think. He knows I won't listen to him and let him unload his problems on me now. He used to do what your son is doing to you. Now he only calls for help if he is really desparate. I don't ask questions and really don't know if there are problems. It helped him when I stopped letting him dump on me. The thing that really helped me stop was the fact that he wouldn't do anything to help himself yet he would call and cry and tell me all his problems. That wasn't helping him and certainly didn't help me. It made him take some responsibility for his emotions and problems. He was making me responsible before.
So look at your son and ask yourself what he is willing to do to fix the problems that he's dumping on you. There are plenty of people on these boards with bipolar who are working on their recovery and getting support. Your son can do that too. You are not responsible in any way for his problems. He is hurting because he won't do what he needs to do to get better.
He has choices that he's not taking right now. I know how you feel and I know how bad it hurts. I know how afraid we get when we think they are not going to survive. We have to stop letting them stay in the victim role and allow them the consequences that make them take responsiblity so they get out of the victim role and have a chance to make a life for themselves.
My heart goes out to all of us in this struggle that seems endless. We will die one day and they are going to eventually have to make it without us. We can help them now to start taking care of themselves by not doing it for them and by not taking on their pain and consequences.
It's hard and you're doing really well and moving in the right direction. I'm sure I'll be in crisis again too. One day at a time.
Hugs,
MG
Last edited by Morning Glory; 12-04-2002 at 07:01 PM.