Wow MB there's a lot of stuff in that post that I'd like to respond to, but as usual it's 6.30 am and I'm on my way out to work.
Just a very short response and I hope you can forgive me...but you are doing a lot of living with one foot in the past and projecting into the future. That can be a really hard way to live (take it from the expert here!). How about taking time to be in the moment. Are you meditating?
I will send you a pm, perhaps we can keep in touch away from SR a bit. My life is just really full and busy now...I check in here every day still but am always on the run it seems.
I'm fine HeadLump. Doing great. Happy, sober, non smoking and....eating well! Ha! Xxx