You may not be legally married any more and you may not share the same roof over your head but that's about all that seems to have changed, nothing else.
We can never morn the loss of a relationship if we are still dancing with the corps.
I'm quite sure God has not knighted you her savior and while you seem to take on that roll (extreme co-codependency) your in Gods ways, stopping and preventing what he has in mind for her and her life.
As much as YOU need her in YOUR life because of YOUR issues, maybe that's what she doesn't need in order to find her own way.
((hugs))