Thread: I told him....
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Old 12-05-2013, 10:36 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
FireSprite
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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Good for you for sticking to your guns. I know this isn't a decision that came easily or without doubts.

I don't doubt that in his mind he views everything so differently than you do. It took me a long time to realize that RAH truly believed that getting along for a day or 2 somehow corrected the disagreements we'd had just before. I was amazed at how our POV could be so different & initially I really thought he was doing it on purpose to put on the impression that HE was perfectly FINE and *I* was the one with THE PROBLEM. And it DID appear that way by that time.... I was emotional & seemingly irrational due to dealing with him & he was Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky without a care in the world.

Maybe that was true at times, but there were definitely those times where he truly, honestly believed what he thought/interpreted ("she said we have issues, I have time to work this out") and not what I had actually said ("we have had ongoing issues that are not getting resolved, it is time to move on now"). It was a BIG problem in his earliest days of recovery.... I felt like we spoke 2 different languages.

Actually, that is still a problem for him even though it has gotten tons better - he interprets instead of listening. I told him just yesterday that good communication isn't just about expressing yourself clearly, but also about paying attention when you are listening so that you actually HEAR the person speaking.
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