Thank you all. At first I felt guilty feeling this way. She's never actually done anything to me (threatened to hit me but never did), it's all just been hurtful words. I mean there was the time she made me miss a day of work for no good reason because it was the first day of our vacation and she drank all day then showed up at night. I could have saved that day. I nearly ended it then, but I just wanted to have a nice vacation (she didn't drink the whole time). I was reading your thread just now spiderqueen. Wishing you all peace and strength.
I was worried that the holidays would be the especially tumultuous time. No surprises there, I guess. I feel like it's all unraveling with her and she blames the holidays and the weather. She's started bringing liquor to my place because I never have any. That only started around thanksgiving.