I got to Celebrate Recovery for codependency which is very similar. The thing is, they are focusing on YOU because that is all YOU can change. If you could change him you would not have to go to Alanon! They are trying to make you see that you need to work on your codependency and boundaries and the realizations that you cannot change him.
Don't be alarmed. If you don't click with that group, try a different time with a different group. Just keep going. My group of people at Celebrate Recovery have changed my life. It is just for that very reason, they taught me I cannot control how he acts...only how I react...and that is changing for me.
Good Luck! Keep posting, you are not alone!