I am so, so sorry you're hurting. It must be difficult hearing from him. Do you think you can cut all ties and let him know you don't want to hear from him anymore? Or block email, text, phone, FB?
I don't really know what to say except that I feel for you. It's so sad to let go of someone you love, even if you know it's better for you in the long run.
Wishing you much love and healing. xoxoxo