Originally Posted by
LifeRecovery 
I think the tenants of growing up in an alcoholic home can still be in place without any recovery. I think the don't talk, don't feel, don't emote mentality is present though the addiction was not. At least that was my experience.
Yes. DS's counselor says that alcoholism can skip generations for this very reason. The ACoA may not be an A, but he/she still has the learned behaviors and thought patterns he used for survival as a child. Unless the cycle is broken, it's perpetuated even though the grandchild does not grow up in an A home.
Originally Posted by
LifeRecovery My problem drinker that got me here grew up in a functional alcoholic home (I don't know that he would name it as alcholic as a result)
I'm in my early 40s and have only recently realized that my father was an A (actually
he/Dad recently told me he identifies as an A.) I still have difficulty determining how you tell when someone is "just" a heavy drinker/alcohol abuser vs. a true alcoholic if the person never really tries to quit.