My state mandates an almost 50/50 split of time, and the custody laws don't protect children from spending a great deal with an alcoholic unless the alcoholic harms them.
It is positively
infuriating. Lawmakers simply do knot now how the sheer experience of LIVING with an alcoholic is harmful. We need to educate them so that the next generation doesn't have to fight the same fight we do.
And then again, as my attorney tries to remind me, there are bad eggs there spoiling it for the good ones. As an example -- he said in 75% of the custody cases he sees, one parent will claim either that the other parent is an alcoholic or that s/he has sexually molested the children. The truth usually comes out -- but it takes time. And during that time, the accusing parent usually has sole custody. And so by the time it gets cleared up that there really is no addiction or sexual abuse, it's already been established that the kids are solidly and comfortably with one parent.
Those false accusations create hell for those of us whose exes ARE alcoholics and/or sexually abusive. Because the bar to prove that is set so much higher because people lie about it.
Also, because there are parents that deliberately try to manipulate their children into hating the other parents, courts don't listen to children. Depending on state, kids usually have some sort of say when they're between 14 and 16. But because there are parents who USE their children to badmouth the other parent, most lawyers don't even want to touch testimony from a kid.
My lawyer keeps saying "Trust the system. The system works." I told him to me, the judicial system is sort of like the karma bus: I do trust that it works, but it's sure running on another time table than I'd like it to…