I guess what I'm finally starting to realize (I think, I'm new and very, very green) is this: If his behaviors and actions imply that he's maintaining his sobriety, I should trust that he is and I shouldn't go searching for proof that he's relapsed (as in searching his car like I did a few weeks ago.)
On the other hand, if things don't add up, I do have the right to ask him about it. Like in Honeypig's case, she asked what the missing money was used for. He was evasive, she persisted, he admitted. Nothing wrong with that. It's going out of my way to look for "proof" that's wrong, if that makes sense. And, to be honest, it only makes me feel crazier when I do it anyway.
Also, my husband does have the right to drink if he chooses. It's his life. I just also have the right to choose not to stay with him because he's drinking.