Originally Posted by
PhaseTwo 
Based on what you posted it is pretty clear you are an alcoholic. It won't get better if you keep drinking, only worse. This isn't a probability it is a certainty. I don't mean to depress you just being honest.
Honesty helps a lot. Im the type to analyze everything and am usually 100 percent honest with myself. always in search for truth. I am a little astonished to find out that I had mentally told myself I am not. "Its just a little problem" i had thought. But these last few days, knowing that I wont be able to reward (cant believe i was actually mentally using that word even) myself on the weekends for making it through the week, I came to realize I am very wrong. Im not just waiting a week. or even two.
I think this may be a bit harder than i thought, especially when i go to Puerto Rico with the swim team and everyone goes to bars and gets blasted out of their minds and i have to sit there sober and alone.