Relationships under normal circumstances can be hard, but when you have two people who are obviously so toxic to each other, they can be almost impossible.
It sounds to me like you both need to grow up, get yourselves straightened out, and go your separate ways. I was exhausted just reading your post. I can't imaging trying to live that way. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you read something like that from your daughter or sister, what would you think?