I don't have anything new to share other than that my mom threw a fit right before my Thanksgiving party, telling me to riff off and stop being so mean to her, because who knows why. Crazytown! Because she was not invited to my friends and neighbors party? I don't know.
Oh, that's not true. There was a row with xNPD because he confiscated DS14's Christmas check and cashed it for himself. I hope the $100 was worth losing the last of his son's respect. This in itself is absolutely nuts -- involving two generations of messed up expectations and awful family systems of domination and control. But anyway, he took DS's money and feels no shame at all. None.
Back when things were at their height with my xNPD, my narcissistic mom always took his side, blamed me, and conscripted others to believe his really outrageous lies about me. I'm still dealing with the after effects today. I think the worst thing about this dynamic is that I was always second guessing myself -- maybe I was an irresponsible loser who always fell short and was incapable of having relationships with my family! Or maybe my family was, inexplicably, sabotaging me for whatever reason, and acting out every time I tried to draw lines in the sand and set healthy boundaries for me and my children. Anyway, I'm just sharing in solidarity. It really is this bad, it really is this crazy. You're not crazy. And of you are, it's thanks to being the scapegoat for your family's effed up dynamics. As the person trying to get out of the sick family system, the family system is set up to make us the bad guys. It will be this way maybe forever, or maybe (I hope) until others in the system see how great it is to have a healthy distance, a healthy respect for honesty, a healthy respect for boundaries, and reasonable expectations of one another. I hope to be pleasantly surprised someday.