GracieLou

I cannot tell you why you drink that way, I can only tell you why I drank that way.

The reason is because I am an alcoholic. Once I have that first drink, the chase it on and I will chase it until I am in a black out and then I will pass out.

I did too until I didn't. After a while it was no longer a choice. I had done it so often and so long that it was my way of life. I could not function without the booze.


There are rules about drinking it just seems you have not faced them yet. There will come a time when these friends that are putting up with your **** fests will wonder away.

There are no rules about being sober. It is called life. Dealing with life on life's terms. It is not a rule. Everyone is different and sobriety comes in varying flavors.


I understand this. I wanted more. The chase. I ran that race many times.

I fell off the edge. I can tell you, it was not invigorating.

Neither did I and at times I am still lonely in a room full of people. This does get better. The more I have set my fear aside and reached out to people the more I find. The more comfortable I get and the more friends I make.

I understand the escape. When I looked around me I did not feel that I wanted what others had. It was lame or useless to me.

I could ramble about what I did to change all these things you mention but that won't change anything for you.

I think the only question you have to ask yourself is, are you an alcoholic?