meggem, I don't think it is abnormal not to "want" to join alanon. I think it is normal to want relief from suffering, though.
Nobody grows up saying to themselves: "I hope that I will marry--and that my fondest dreams will vanish as I discover that my husband is addicted; and, that I will become so frightened and angry that I don't even recognize myself---AND that I can join a special organization designed for those suffering people--WoW, I just can't wait!!!!!!"
Given that. It is a blessing to have a respite from the storm--and the comfort and warmth of loving and understanding souls.
Just the way I have of looking at it.......
dandylion