Indigo, My heart breaks reading your post. Although painfull you're on the right path to recovery. You will find, like I did, that a little at a time will give you the strength to continue. The secrets we keep inside are like boiling water, it burns from within. Exposed to the coolness of the open air, they will cool so you'll be able to handle them. As you said, It wasn't our choice to be abused but, recovering from it is our choice. Love, Don W